Are you a single lady? Looking for an upstanding Christian man? Do want to be a Godly wife? Was Proverbs 31 written about you? Are you just waiting until he likes it enough to put a ring on it? How will you know that this is the man for you? Do not panic. I have the article for you! Okay, maybe not, but, I have to introduce it with some levity, because this is the type of Christianity that might make you lose your sense of humor.
Let’s say you take Ephesians 5:22-24 really seriously, “The husband is the head of the household and the wife is submissive to her husband as if to the Lord himself.” I know lots of families like that, honestly. I don’t mind that, as long as readers continue on to verse 25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for her.” So, we’re supposed to have a symbiotic relationship in marriage where we love and care for one another, just as Christ loved us. Check.
Let’s say you also believe in showing deference to your husband in a way that means you “obey” his commands. If that’s your thing, I give you leave to feel so and act in such a way. I prefer a partnership route, but I’m currently single, so, I’ll let you married women decide what works best for you.
There’s something I can’t get behind, though. C.D.D. That’s Christian.Domestic.Discipline. Before I let this method of maintaining a Christian marriage have it, let me say that I do not disagree entirely. I like where the author (obviously male) says that men should treasure their wives and speak well of them everywhere, at work, at play, at home. Women should do the same. I don’t like when people I know complain about their spouse constantly, which, even in a joking way doesn’t seem like they really know the gift they have, there.
Their website starts with Bible verses, some of the same I have mentioned here. And then…
Replace the word “women” with “people” and sure, I can go with that. And then….
When administering physical discipline, take caution not to deliver the lashes anywhere but the buttocks. The first attempt at this punishment should only be delivered by hand so you can get an idea of how many lashings are needed. The best position will be for you to sit at the end of a bed or on a chair (with no arms) and have her lay across your lap. She can also bend over a bed with arms tucked under her chest and your left hand on the small of her back. If a strap (belt) is to be implemented watch that each stoke falls directly on the buttocks and not higher. EDITOR’S NOTE: When using the hand, or a small, short implement, such as a switch or small “hairbrush”-type paddle, over-the-knee positioning can work quite well. A fearful wife may begin crying or pleading and find it difficult to remain still. Reassure her. of your intent and love (yes this will hurt, that is why it is a punishment) then instruct her to be still. Remind her that she is not in control of this discipline. You should continue the lashing through her tears and pleas for you to stop, until you are certain the message was received. This will insure her remorse and therefore stop the undesirable behavior. You may find it difficult to cause your wife pain, but as a woman she needs the release of guilt that this form of punishment brings. Afterwards, help her up gently and hold her while allowing her to cry for as long as you both feel necessary. If you have children instruct her to wash her face before emerging from the room. Remember to stay in control at all times so her faith in you is not rattled. Her reaction after the lashing will let you know if this punishment works for her. She should be genuinely remorseful, tearful, and sore, but have an overwhelming desire to please you.
Um… well…. no…. The disclaimer on the site mentions that C.D.D. might not work for all marriages. I wonder at it working for any! I always think I write about the darker side of Christianity too often. I look around for inspiration of a more uplifting type and I am still working on some posts about what Christians do to help one another, comfort one another and give glory to God. Don’t worry, they are coming. At the same time, every time a fundamentalist Muslim commits some act of terrorism, I hear from people everywhere… “Why don’t we hear more moderate Muslims condemning these practices? Why don’t the Imams come out against the fundamentalists’ crazy interpretation of holy writ?” I don’t hear calls for moderate Christians to distance themselves from this, which, no matter how I read it seems like abuse? Systematic, structural, reinforced domestic abuse.
The site is quite clear that they only condone consensual discipline, but I have to wonder, how would they know when the period of consent is over, if they are continuing to spank against protests? So, single ladies, while I’m sure the author of this piece is married, you might find someone willing to take on the challenge of raising dominating marrying you, that is just like he is, loves the Word, wants to enact Biblical principles and will hold you (over his lap) when you cry.