My Last Valentine

February last, I was waiting in the airport. Waiting. Waiting some more. Still waiting. There was ice in Chicago, delaying the flight to Little Rock which delayed the flight to Dallas which delayed the flight to Houston, and that’s where I sat, waiting for my Valentine.

While I was waiting, my aunt was sure I was a lesbian. I had written on Facebook that I was going to pick up my Valentine from the airport – a she. I was in the middle of a divorce and I was calling my girl friend, Danya, my Valentine, which my aunt interpreted to mean my girlfriend and, well, whatever.

“A friend loves at all times…” Proverbs 17:17

 

That’s what Valentine’s do, though, right? They make some sort of sacrifice of what they want to do, in order for their Valentine to feel loved. Danya left her husband (whom she loves very much, thank you) to come down on the flight delay from Hades, to spend the holiday with me, because I was kind of in a personal dump. Her spending Valentine’s Day with me was the best Valentine’s gift ever. While everyone else was being mushy and smooshy, we were snarky and silly.

There were no fabulous parties for the two of us. We didn’t rub elbows with anyone at a posh restaurant or order a dessert big enough for two. We did what we’ve always done, which is to sit around without ever making a blasted decision about anything because the action isn’t nearly as important as the interaction.

I’ve never been shy about my lack of enthusiasm for Valentine’s Day, but last year, my last Valentine’s Day, I enjoyed the love of a friend who made a sacrifice to make my day. We read magazines and watched movies and came up with crazy schemes we never brought to fruition; the Joycean flow of shared words would suffice for us.

We conference-called Mary, our long-lost Pennsylvania bud, to round out the reliving of our glorious grad school days and it was well and good. There’s a serenity in nothing, when nothing is in the company of friends. That love, the love of your friends is a love worth waiting, and sacrificing for.

What was the best Valentine’s gift anyone has ever given you? What gift did you sacrifice the most to give?

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19 responses to “My Last Valentine

  1. In general, I’m not big on holidays. I mean I appreciate them. I don’t hate them. But I’m in a place in my life where I want to celebrate things year round (i.e. Christmas, Easter, four leaf clovers and little green men)….not just on a special day once a year.

    The only exception to this is birthdays. I LOVE birthdays. Mostly because you don’t have to share this day. It’s all about ONE person. I love to make people feel awesome on their birthday…but I digress.

    I’ll admit, it’s been easy for me to knock V-day for the past 4 years since I’ve spent it alone. But I won’t be spending it alone this year…and that feels pretty freakin’ good.

    • I’m happy for you, Tony. I just posted on your testimony, and I really am amazed by the similarities. I can’t wait to read what you have for the guest post. It’s starting to get eerie how much a guy in Florida has in common with a girl from Texas, seriously.

  2. Kristin, what a great friend who would sacrifice such a big day to be with her friend in a rough time. You’re right, the action isn’t nearly as important as the interaction. While we don’t make too big a deal out of Valentine’s Day (too crowded and we’re on limited babysitting funds), we tend to reschedule a less crazy day to celebrate. Thanks for posting!

  3. Awww, I LOVE this, Kristin! My best girl friends have been my Valentine over the last few years. My best friend Wajhma and I joke that our first “date” was on Valentine’s Day three years ago. We were both going through a tough time and we wanted to do something totally silly to get our minds off everything. The Whole Foods in her neighborhood was having a Valentine’s Day event (sounded promising for a good laugh), so we got dressed up, went down there, sampled free wine and chocolate, and laughed until we cried. Best Valentine’s Day I can remember. I’ve never been a fan of V-day. Cliche gifts and forced romance is so not my thing. But some times someone makes it really special and your happy the greeting card companies invented it. 🙂

    Happy Valentine’s Day to you!!! ❤

    • That Valentine’s Day sounds like a lot of fun!

      It’s not that I’ve never been a fan because I never had someone on V-day, just the forced romance you describe.

      I’m glad I have friends that make my lifetime — You have a Happy Valentine’s too, Katie!

  4. Those kind of friendships are real special. That’s the “David/Jonathan” kind of relationship. Love that is deeper than that of a woman.

  5. Knowing I am loved by the woman that I love is all that I really need.

  6. Wow. What a friend!
    My oldest daughter made a pact with one of her girlfriends that they would be each other’s valentines today so the boys will leave them alone. They are eight. I thought it was hilarious.

  7. Truthfully, I have never understood the romantic connection of Valentine’s Day. Details of Saint Valentine are lost to history, except that he was a martyr and buried on Feb 14. And this becomes the commercial holiday we celebrate. I just don’t see it.

    But that said, this is the first year I have done anything to celebrate positively. I wrote a blog post. Thanks for the inspiration and you can call that your Valentine from me. Happy V-day!!

    • you’re right. I was just reading the “real” story of V-day on NPR today. I don’t get it. But, socially, we’re conditioned to love and be loved on this day. I have to apologize for not reading your post, yet, Doug. I’m about to throw my computer out the window and am only posting the blog and comments on borrowed computers/time. I can’t wait, though!

      • Apology accepted but not necessary. Computers are great when they work. Sorry you’re having such troubles.

        And we are socially conditioned to love on February 14. And I don’t think this is a bad thing, provided it also happens throughout the year.

  8. I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone during this particular time of the year – except the last few years, and he doesn’t believe in celebrating Valentine’s Day, so I guess I still don’t celebrate it. So, I’ve never gotten a special gift for the day.

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