Love that Flava

I don’t cook. Let me rephrase: I cook not. Maybe I’m not making myself clear: Cook, I do not. So, take everything I’m about to say with a grain of salt. Maybe a pinch or two, I’m not sure how one seasons blog posts, but I’m pretty sure it’s a pinch per inch.

I tend to under-season, when I do cook. I like to spice things up, but I don’t always want to make the flavoring decisions for others. What if it’s too hot? What if I add too much paprika?Will anyone eat this, if I go crazy with the dill and the dish turns green? I guess I figure that if it’s too bland, they can add salt to it themselves.

If you’ve been reading this blog long enough, I think you’ll see where I’m going – I’m going to take this story about how I hate to season, and salt and I’m going to use it to talk about: elephants and the Food Network. That’s right, you guessed it, elephants and Iron Chef. You are so perceptive! How do you read me so well?

You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and be trampled by men. – Matthew 3:13


I’ve never heard of anyone getting trampled by a flock of geese or a murder of crows (except in The Birds, and I’m certain we wouldn’t call that “trampling”), a shrewdness of apes (did you know that’s what you call a bunch of apes? that word is awesome!), a glaring of cats or a bob of seals (I do sometimes get carried away with a bob of apples, though).

Scripture tells us, though, that if we’re not salty enough, if we don’t have enough flava, we might as well be trampled by elephants. I realize the Scripture says “men” but in my vision, it’s men riding elephants. There’s nothing more we can do here. So, quoth the Spice Girls “Spice up your life!”

How can we do that, and avoid death by elephants? 3 tips:

1) Pull an Emeril. BAM! When your day is looking down, and sad, and flava-less, throw a little something extra in there. 10 more minutes of prayer. An extra couple of chapters of Bible reading. Throw in something new to the mix, like volunteering at the assistance ministry center.

2) Bust a Bobby Flay – Surprise someone with spices. Flay does that surprise challenge. Do it in your life. Bust out with a random act of kindness and make someone’s day. Doing something good for others makes you 60% more palatable. It’s proven.

3) Go all Giada – Smile. Smile a lot. Smile genuine, content smiles because you have been blessed beyond measure and have plenty to smile about. Try it for a day, and see how many opportunities to minister and witness and build relationships open up because you were open first.

What would you least like to be trampled by? How do you stay so salty?


19 responses to “Love that Flava

  1. I would hate to be trampled by a kyro of gerbils.

  2. Can you be trampled by rats? You know that scene from Indiana Jones where he’s in a pit of rats? That still haunts me all these years later! ICK

    If I smile like Giada, my food better start tasting super yummers and I better start looking at hot as she does. I know for a fact that some of my friends hubby’s will withstand the Food network purely bc of Giada. Can you blame them?

  3. I do not want to be trampled by clowns with their big shoes on. And…I though paprika was a character on Blue’s Clues. Am I wrong?

  4. Loved this. I feel like this is you fully yourself in a blog post. It comes across as authentic, funny and hits home. Keep feeding whatever is inspiring you right now!

    I want to pull an Anthony Bourdain. First because his name is Anthony. Second because I love to travel when I eat. That would be the life! Travel breaks the routine, keeps it fresh and keeps you constantly relating to new peeps.

    I stay salty by the people I keep closest in my life. They are a constant dash of flava! I do the same when they get bland.

  5. Awesome post! Once again you leave me desiring to write and post the way you do! I need more flava in my postings, for sure….well, in my life too ;o).

    I would hate to be trampled by anything, really. I don’t like pain, and I think being trampled would be quite painful…

  6. My cooking is usually characterized by reheating in a microwave. 🙂

  7. I would hate to be trampled by rhinos with severe diarrhea.

    More than anything, I think being sincere and transparent in my faith helps my “saltiness”. Too much fake spirituality out there.

  8. A good smile is the best BAM I know!

    I rode an elephant in Thailand. you can definitely trample someone if you get the mind to.

  9. Pingback: Doubts in the oven | Messiah Mom

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