Corners of my darkness

“Darkness is a harsh term, don’t you think? And yet, it dominates the things I see” – Mumford & Sons, “Roll Away Your Stone.”

“For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires.
Let not light see my black and deep desires.” – Macbeth, Act 1, Scene 4

Stars, hide your fires

I pad around the house, creeping in the darkness the path from the front door that I just locked, through the gamut of coffee table and giant murphy bed, and across the wood floor until my toes dig into the pile of carpet that signals I’m almost to my bedroom. I don’t need the light, I’ve traveled this trail, in day and dark, thousands of times.

I kid myself, via experience, into thinking I can navigate the gloom and tread comfortably the boards leading the way to my comfortable bed. That is, until I trip on a toy, stumble headlong into the entertainment center, take a corner of the bookshelf into my thigh, feel the beginning of a hunter green bruise appear, and land on my butt.

There are others places, my messy closet, my pantry, the garage, that I keep dark for the specific purpose that no one knows my laissez-faire tendencies with regard to storage areas. Don’t poke into my closets, unless, of course, you have a death wish! Don’t even think about turning on a light in the playroom, you’ll be sorry! I hide the sin of omission under a cloak of black.

For whatever is hidden is meant to be disclosed, and whatever is concealed is meant to be brought out into the open – Mark 4:22


Now is the time for some introspection. Well, it’s never NOT a good time to examine one’s heart, but yesterday, we read 2 Cor. 13:1-9 and heard about rooting around in our lives to investigate our motives.

I’m entering a period of self-examination, determining what I want, and don’t want, what God wants for me and what dark places I’m trying to keep hidden from the light.

Out with it: What places do you want to keep in the dark? What is the most uncommon item in your junk drawer? (you do have a junk drawer, right?)


41 responses to “Corners of my darkness

  1. Is there a place in your heart,
    Where even you don’t go…
    You have some things hidden there,
    That you don’t want noone to know….

    But He’s handing you the keys,
    With tears of love on His face….
    He says I want to make you clean,
    Let Me go in your secret place.

    Great post, Kristen.

  2. That’s an amusing analogy. I’m also bad at getting my storage areas cleared up, though since they’re mostly in the attic I don’t risk tripping over them in the dark too often.

  3. Sometimes I like the dark. I like to sit in my rocking chair, rocking and listening to music or praying, or even just thinking. I think I like the dark at times because I’m a night owl/hawk (whichever bird it is…I’ve heard both). But, as for what places I want to keep in the dark – probably parts of my past that I don’t want people to know about (I might refer to things, but I don’t necessarily go into all the details).

  4. There’s one thing in my junk drawer that Daniel wants to keep in the dark–it scares him. It’s my kitchen remodel sketches. ; ) But isn’t that the way with things we want to hide? If they are seen we would have to change and that would be a lot of work.

  5. I’m not telling you my secrets! That’s why they are in the dark!

    I’ve purposefully made it so that I don’t have a junk drawer anymore. The last time I had one, I think I had a dead animal in there for 2 years. Now stuff just piles up on my desk until I can’t take it and I throw everything away.

  6. There have been so many things I wanted to keep in the dark over the years, but God is constantly asking me to be transparent. It’s getting easier and easier to do so, but sometimes I’m like, “No…not that Jesus. Let’s not deal with that right now. Can I pencil you in for next year!?”

    I don’t have a junk drawer, but I do have a junk pile. It consists mostly of “things I need to deal with” like wedding invitations, business cards, letters to read, receipts, magazines, etc. Every once in a while I’ll go through the pile and get rid of stuff. I have gotten rid of so much stuff (aka junk) since moving into my parents place that I barely have enough stuff to make a mess with…although I do still manage somehow.

  7. I cherish my junk drawer. Usually I’ll find tools, batteries, power cords, loose change, Peeps, owner’s manuals, old cell phones….

  8. I don’t have a junk drawer. But I do have a very organized set of drawers in the hall closet that is actually labeled ‘odds and ends.’
    I’m not about keeping things hidden because when I was younger I had a lot of issues with lying and hiding bad secrets and stuff. I got over it and now I try and be as open as possible. But sometimes when I reveal things I feel like I embarrass others around me. I hate that.

    • honesty is probably more important than offending people, because, somewhere out there is someone who needs to hear what you have to say, that are going through something similar. If you keep your mouth shut, they might not hear it.

  9. I have a terrible junk drawer. Lots of cables, old remote controls, batteries, screw drivers and a picture of Maverick from Top Gun. #dontJudgeMe

  10. Wow it’s funny you read that verse because I was teaching this Friday night and I talked about Solomom. You know, the Genius. The verse was Eccl. 12: the 2nd to last verse.: ” The Conlusion: Fear the Lord and keep his commandments because every secert thing will be revealed, wheather it be Good or Evil…doesn’t matter….” YIKES!!!

    I think we all hate reading verses like that or the one you mentioned…

    And it is always a good time to examine the heart….even in the middle of the night…lol…

    by the way…are you ok? My wife bruises real easly.

  11. The dark things…I’m pretty insecure. There I said it.

    And I totally keep my change and chargers in my junk drawer.

  12. I have a junk drawer. But when it gets to where I can’t close the drawer anymore I’ll clean some of it out. Maybe once or twice a year. On a personal level. Doubt is in my junk drawer. I doubt myself a lot. I need to clean that out. 🙂

  13. Great post!

    I spent most of my life living in the dark of Satanism and the occult. Even though Jesus has given me victory over my past there is still this part of me that can feel the demons breathing down my neck (this is my dark place). When Paul talks about the the thorn is his flesh I can totally relate. The Lord has given me peace about this, however HE has also given me a stern warning: that I have to stay so close to the Lord that HE and I need to be virtually inseparable. Casting Crowns has a song called Slow Fade that talks about how falling away from the Lord is a slow/gradual process. I love the song…however, when it comes to my Christian walk, there is no slow or gradual fade. For when I stop reading the Bible, or if my prayer life is lacking, I fade like sidewalk chalk in a rainstorm.

    I’m all about the junk drawers! I have multiple junk drawers that contain basic tools, candles, computer memory-sticks, personal water purification kit, and many other things that make life bearable:->


  14. I usually can find 2 locked locks in my junk drawer. I have no idea where the keys are, yet I refuse to throw the locks away. I think I may need an intervention.

  15. sigh…my eating habits tend to get back after dark and everyone’s asleep. does that count?

    our junk drawer has lots of those plastic bread-tie things. I use those all over the place for good and for awesome.

  16. Our junk drawer has now become our junk “half” counter. Yep….how’s that for exposing my secrets???

  17. Ask not which drawer is my junk drawer. Ask rather, which drawer is not. :> I won’t have an answer for the latter question, but at least the list will be shorter.

    I have some more locks and keys for Matt’s collection, for one thing. I think I somewhere still have a box containing spent shell casings from a nail gun, too. But at least I don’t save toenail clippings like that one guy I read about a few years ago.

  18. Good post, Kristen. Somehow at this house (we moved just over a year ago), we refrained from creating a junk drawer. There is junk in various drawers, but not a dedicated one. I consider that a small victory. 🙂 I’ve been doing a lot of sorting and figuring things out lately myself. It’s good and very scary at the same time. God’s leading in all of it though and I’m so glad about that.

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