Picture it: 8th grade. I had the super-high waterfall bangs, but they were inching their way closer to my forehead, to be traded for a more low-key grunge type ‘do that would work with my green plaid flannel button-ups and Doc Martens. I’m working very, terribly hard at being cool.
And then, the Civil War** brewed in English class.
We read Across Five Aprils and we watched The Blue and the Grey, and in one scene, Jonas Steele doctors his own wounded arm, cut to the bone by shrapnel. My stomach turned over at the sight of such gore, and I knew I would be sick. I got a hall pass to visit the nurse and disappeared out the door. In the hall, the memory of that scene sent a flood of nausea over me and I woke up facedown on the floor, staring at a patch of carpet.
That carpet was all I could see. A low-pile, square blue spot of carpet with flecks of black mingled in. Embarrassment slapped me across the face; someone would see me laying on the floor, but I couldn’t stand or dizzyness would knock me down. I focused on that carpet for 10 minutes or so, before I could get up and move on to the nurse’s office. That focus helped me to move on. The big picture sent me reeling, but focus, focus…
This summer, I’m applying the lesson of the 8th grade carpet to my blog. I need to narrow my vision and focus. I need to stop trying to do quite so much. I need to slow down and minimize the big picture into manageable chunks, because my life is spinning.
And let us not be weary in doing well: for in due season we will reap, if we faint not – Galatians 6:9
Starting next week, I’ll be posting twice per week this summer, most likely Mondays and Thursdays only. That should give me time to work, read, take care of my kids and plan some things that I’ve neglected.
My fear is that I will now miss the forest for the trees, but otherwise, I don’t think I’ll be able to stand with the room spinning.
Have you ever fainted? Why?
What was your “uniform” in the 8th grade?
** I meant the actual Civil War, not The Civil Wars, whom I’ve just discovered are an awesome musical duo, you should check out: